Blessing And Ideal Family (Part 1)
by Rev. Sun Myung Moon
1) The Original Love of Man and Woman
When God's most precious masterpieces, man and woman, love each other centering on God, their love is the highest and most transcendental love, not worldly love. Their love is the most beautiful love, the representative of all love, and the love that shines forever.
Even though a man and a woman love each other, the issue is whether their love agrees with what God originally meant love to be, and whether it meets the standard of love that God intended for human beings. The issue is whether their love corresponds to the model of love that God has in mind. We can conclude that if the first man and woman had become one in love centering on God, they would have become the model for a love-centered universe.
God must have desired such love for human beings. Man and woman must have also desired such love from each other. This quality of true love has to be the core of the universe. It should be the standard, like the metric system.
The love between man and woman must be love centered on the ideal of creation. When a husband loves his wife and a wife loves her husband, their love must be centered on God's ideal of creation, not centered on their own couple.
If a husband and wife are a God-centered couple, the wife can move about anywhere in her husband's world and the husband can move about anywhere in his wife's world; and they can move about anywhere God dwells.
For whom are human beings supposed to live? When God created Adam, Adam's value of existence could not be complete since Eve did not yet exist. Adam needed Eve as his spouse if he was to exist eternally. In this sense, a woman is a man's subject partner. On the other hand, a husband has charge over his wife.
The power by which a man has charge over his wife, and a woman has charge over her husband, is love. No power other than love can enable a man and a woman to dominate each other. The only way they can dominate each other is with love.
God, too, exists with dual characteristics. God can exist eternally because these two distinct aspects engage in give and take action centering on love. God's love is absolute because His dual characteristics completely submit to each other in love. We must know that perfect dominion is only possible through love.
God does not stop after forming a vertical reciprocal realm of love. God created the existent world as the stage upon which horizontal love can exist, based on this vertical realm. In order to connect to the horizontal love relationship, He created the world as plus and minus, ultimately man and woman. Consequently, God would have dominion over the created world, centering on human beings through love.
My earthly parents give birth to my physical body, and my vertical parents give me eternal life. Love alone makes it possible for the horizontal parents and the vertical parents to unite. Where a perfected man's love and a perfected woman's love become one at the center of God's genuine will, that is where God's love dwells and where my life is conceived and brought to birth.
The reason God created everything in complementary pairs was so that they could receive God's true love. God wanted them to receive this one love. As a man and woman are a complementary pair, they will definitely become an ideal husband and wife once they perfect God's love, connect that love to their own self, and share that love with each other from the same ground of complementarity as God.
God's love and human love are essentially the same. People love each other to become one. Why do man and woman long for each other? It is because a man can possess God only through woman, and a woman can possess God only through man.
Considering that God is the origin of the dual characteristics, we should praise the sacred value of man and woman. Such is the exalted value of God that we should never cease praising Him.
In the heart of a man, there is a woman whom God loves. In the heart of this woman, the man's object, there is also a man loved by God. When they praise each other, God would watch and rejoice, and the whole creation would rejoice. The element of happiness with which the man and woman embrace would become the joy of both heaven and earth. As they love and embrace each other, the whole universe unites into one. This is the appearance of the original creation according to God's ideal.
Man was created to meet a woman who could make him happy, and woman was created to meet a man who could make her happy. Furthermore, their meeting should transcend the two of them, a time when God and all creation would watch and rejoice. All existent beings in this world would mobilize for the sake of this couple, and would want to be governed by them. The birds would sing songs for them. The butterflies would flit about and dance for them. God would rejoice, humans would rejoice, and all nature would rejoice. If the human ancestors had met in this way and started human history from this meeting, then the world would have become the original ideal of creation.
Who on earth is the owner of love? Who is the master of love? From a man's point of view, neither love nor anything else can exist if there is no woman. The standard of a man's love is a woman. The standard of a woman's love is a man. However, the standard of love based on one's counterpart is not the standard of absolute love. We recognize that our partner is a transient being. Our partner is not a being whom we can acknowledge as having the value of the subject of love. The owner and master of absolute love is God. A thief who stole love, instead of trying to perfect God's love according to His will, committed the crime in the Garden of Eden.
2) The Reason Man and Woman Are Born
The reason a being called woman was created was to become the spouse of a man, Adam. If there were no Adam, then a woman like Eve would not have been necessary. Why was Adam created? Adam was created because a man was necessary for Eve.
Human beings, man and woman, are not created to live for the sake of themselves, but to live for the sake of their counterparts.
Therefore, a man is not born as a man for the sake of himself. Neither is a beautiful woman born for her own sake, even if she hates men. Look at her appearance! She was not born for herself. We are not born for the sake of ourselves, but for the sake of our counterparts.
When parents live for the sake of their children, and children live for their parents, both taking good care of each other, they start a rotation. The more they live for each other, the faster they rotate. This is the ideal form of their relationship. It is not square, but round and three-dimensional. As we live for the sake of the other, we give each other a push. Therefore, the more we live for each other, the faster we rotate. We form a sphere, which lets us exist eternally.
The Earth resembles a sphere. The human face is round. Our eyes are also round. They are completely engaged in give and take. In the body, the veins and arteries also engage in give and take. Sickness breaks out when there is a loss of balance-for instance, a way to give but no way to receive. Thus, it is evident that no existence can remain in motion eternally unless it follows the principle of acting for the sake of others. You must know this.
What was the primary reason for man to be born? We cannot deny that man is born for woman. Woman, for her part, is born for man, not for woman. When a woman is not convinced that she was born for the sake of a man, a problem arises. We must know this.
God, the ultimate subject of the creation of heaven and earth, made this the law of creation. Unless we follow this law, we cannot enter the world of goodness, happiness and peace, the world of love and ideal.
Male was created for female, and female was created for male. God does not dwell where one has regard only for oneself. God only dwells where people value others. According to the view of the Divine Principle and the laws of nature, we are walking with two legs.
A woman is born to meet a man, and a man is born to meet a woman. Right? This is the highest truth. Therefore, according to this principle, we must go forward seeking the realm of Blessing. To break away from the realm of the highest truth is most evil.
Men and women are physiologically opposite. While women tend to go in one direction, men go in three or four different directions. Women stay at home, while men wander about the world. In such ways, man and woman's characters are totally opposite. How can a man with subjective character and a woman with objective character unite? They can unite centering on love. It is also love that can unite human beings and God.
Why is a man born? It is not for knowledge, money, or power. It is for a woman. Man is born for woman. A man does not have a bigger frame than a woman so that he can earn money and live for himself. Rather, it is to support his wife and children. The male organ is different from the female organ. For whom do they have these organs? Their organs are not for themselves. A man's organ was made for a woman; hence, it belongs to the woman. Likewise, a woman's organ belongs to her man. Have you ever thought this way? [Laughter.] This is not a laughing matter.
What represents the love between man and woman? Where is love's final destination? It is the sexual organs, which enable a man and woman to become one. The sexual organs provide the path for the mind and body to unite completely in love. The man's sexual organ is not his, and the woman's organ is not hers. The man owns the woman's and woman owns the man's. You must know clearly that you do not exist for yourselves. You were born for your counterpart.
Man is not born for man. Woman is not born for woman. Viewed horizontally, their relationship is one of head and helper, subject and object. A woman is not born with a feminine figure for the sake of woman, nor is a man born with a masculine physique for the sake of man. They are born for each other.
Looked at this way, how can a woman realize her purpose? She cannot realize it by herself. That is impossible. She must realize it together with a man. Indeed, she can realize it only through a man. Doesn't the joy of man and woman lie here? This is something beyond dispute.
Man and woman were created on the earth in order to love each other. God, the Great King of wisdom, exchanged at the creation the man and woman's love organs. Therefore, a man does not own his male organ. It is the same for a woman. Those who use them as they wish, disregarding their owners, face judgment for the violation of love. If you knew that you would receive the most severe punishment required by any law, could you dare even to think of such a thing, disregarding your wife? Could you wives dare to think of such a thing, disregarding your husbands?
3) The Being that Is Absolutely Necessary for the Other
Love is what you absolutely need. Isn't that right? For human beings, the absolutely necessary elements are man and woman. Man needs woman and woman needs man. How much do they need each other? They need each other more than they need Korea, more than they need the world, even more than they need God. If there were no women, within a hundred years the human race would perish. A man might swagger about unifying the whole world, but all would be gone within a hundred years if there was no woman. Therefore, a man absolutely needs a woman.
What is the most precious thing for a woman? It is a man. What kind of man does a woman need? Whether the man is hand, some, ugly, or disabled is not the issue. The issue is whether he is the kind of man who will give her precious love.
What is the best thing in the world? For a woman, is it not a man? For a man, is it not a woman? The love that a man likes is not his own; the love that a woman likes is also not her own. Is that not right? Does your mind incline to love when you are alone? It does not.
When we say human being, we mean man and woman. No man is complete without his wife, and no woman is complete without her husband. A man was not born from his own desire, and neither was the woman whom the man needs. At birth, one is either male or female. One grows up either as a man or a woman. Eventually, one realizes that one's life is on a course to search for the person whom one needs to become a couple.
When a person is born as a man, does he know there is a woman? After being born, if he were to discover that there are only men, would he feel bad? A woman would also feel bad were she to discover that there are only women. Is that not right? Then, when a woman is born, is she born knowing that there are men, or not knowing? I myself was born not knowing, but the person who gave birth to me knew. The reason you are born as a woman is that there is a man who needs you. Likewise, the reason I was born as a man is that there is a woman who needs me. Isn't that so? We were all born that way.
Woman is the absolutely necessary being for man. Before a man absolutely needs God, he needs a woman as his counterpart. Human history has been so miserable because men could not recognize that they absolutely need women. Equally, women failed to recognize that they absolutely need men.
To taste true love requires that we have an ideal realm. For that reason, a man requires a woman and a woman absolutely requires a man. For the sake of true love, an absolute man and an absolute woman join together with all their heart and all their effort. When an absolute man and woman unite into one, know that God dwells in them.
Because God dislikes seeing a husband and wife joined in true love suffer any separation, He ordained that the love between an absolute husband and wife be eternal. Although God is absolute, omniscient and omnipotent, by Himself His existence has no meaning. Likewise, no matter how handsome and healthy a man may be, his life has no meaning without a woman. A man who is intoxicated with his appearance and health is a scoundrel, a good-for-nothing. It is a problem that many men in the world are so full of themselves. It is also the cause of much suffering in history. Know that God's providence is to change and elevate this world of vanity.
If a man looks for love by sitting down alone, he would be regarded as a crazy person.
True happiness for a woman is to meet her subject of love.
4) Love Comes from One's Counterpart
Love cannot be realized alone. Where does love come from? It comes not from myself, but from my object partner. Because love comes from my object partner, I must lower my head and live for the sake of my partner. This is the source of the heavenly law, "Live for the sake of others." To receive that most precious and valuable thing coming to you, you must put the philosophy "live for others" into practice.
Love is something even God cannot realize alone. Love is always realized on the foundation of a relationship. Where does love begin? It does not begin from myself, but arises from my partner.
There is love among human beings. However, love does not arise by itself Love does not arise when a man is alone. It arises when a woman stands before the man as his partner. When the partner appears, love arises for the first time.
We say, "My parents' love is good," and "My husband's (or wife's) love is good." This means that the true love is not love centered on oneself Love does not begin from myself but begins from my counterpart. It arises from my husband or my wife, from my sons and daughters, from my brothers and sisters. Love does not start from myself alone; it starts from my counterpart. Who, then, is the owner of love? The counterpart is the owner of love.
Where does love come from? It comes from one's partner. If your partner is ugly and you dislike him or her, love tends to retreat. If your partner is good looking and you like him or her, love's effect works that much faster. Your partner's speech, beauty, smell, taste, etc. determine love's effect.
Alone, one can never feel love. It is the same with happiness. Likewise, we cannot talk about peace if we only consider one country. We must speak about the relationship that can form between two or more countries.
It is the same with happiness. Can you feel happiness alone? You can feel true happiness only when you and your partner, with whom you form a mutual relationship, love each other.
It is the same with freedom. True freedom cannot be realized alone. True freedom is obtained within love, together with love. Only within love can infinite freedom blossom. Within true love, even if one partner holds all authority and rules with a whip, his or her partner would feet no restraint, but rather feel deep joy and delight. This is because in love one lives for the sake of one's partner, ready to sacrifice oneself to save the other's life.
What is the base of love? The base of love is not I. The noun "love" is a relational concept. No matter how handsome a man may be, if he has no relationship with a partner, he cannot have love. The base of love is not I. It is Satan who has been saying, "Love is for myself." The base of love is not I. We have believed that the base of love is myself, but until we expunge this idea and have the correct concept, we cannot change the course of history.
Wives have been asserting that they are the center and expect to be served, while their husbands, for their part, have been asserting and expecting the same. This causes a rupture. Because the base of love is not in you but with your partner, you must sacrifice yourself in order to obtain love. Love always requires sacrifice. Love also requires that you overcome difficulties.
In this respect, the substance that can subjugate this satanic world cannot be found anywhere in heaven and earth. It can only be found through the law of love centering on God; thus, God is always strongly holding on to love. The word "compassion" cannot be spoken apart from love in the world. The word "humanness" (jen) cannot exist without two people. The words "compassion" and "humanness" (jen) are both relational concepts.
5) The True Perspective on the Opposite Sex
Man symbolizes heaven and woman symbolizes earth. Man and woman should come together and create harmony.
Men and women are different. Men's muscles are rugged and women's are smooth. Men grow beards and women do not. Their voices are different, also. Their opposite qualities suit each other. Therefore, harmony arises between them.
The physical structure of a human being exhibits a complementary relationship of left and right. The two halves are put together exactly.
Do you think it is good to be only high or only low? It is better to make harmony. Looking towards the horizon, fishes live below, and mammals and birds live above.
A woman menstruates once a month. Her body changes with the moon, like the tides which rise and fall. It is like breathing.
A man and a woman in harmony move in parallel. Why do people like Disneyland, with its various rides going up and down? It is because the universe is like that. Which feels better, the concord of some men or the concord of a man and a woman? We prefer the concord of a man and a woman, because the universe is like that. In the universe, the harmony of yin and yang brings about concord; everything follows this pattern.
When two people of the opposite sex make harmony, they begin a circular movement. When they become one in love and bear fruit, God comes down and they rise up, meeting at the center. God becomes the central point of the circle, and the circular movement becomes spherical movement. From the central point, God can reach out in all directions. At this central point is the harmony of love, the quickening of life, and the starting point of egalitarianism and communalism. This all happens because the power of love is there. Love is the power which activates and embraces everything in the universe.
Our young girls say they do not, but their eyes steal a glance at the face of a handsome man. Young men also have much interest in pretty girls, don't they? That is love in the fallen world. No matter how good looking a man is, a girl should first think of him as her brother. She should think of him as one of her brothers, the one who resembles her father. This is because the closest person to a girl is her brother. You should associate the man with the men who are closest to you. Should you come to regard him as closer to you than any of these men, someone who would live for you, then he can become your husband.
Are young girls naturally inclined to think of their partners first? Even if your brother is ugly, he is the one to whom you girls want to go and discuss things with when you have difficulties or when you are happy. You also feet this way towards your father. Then how wonderful if you think, "I will treat my husband better than I treat my father and my brother!"
You already have the love of your brother, who treats you as a true sister, and the love of your father, who treats you as a true daughter. You have to arouse and elevate those loves and find a way to connect them to a higher love. This is the reason you should determine to treat your husband better than your brother and father. Therefore, your husband loves you more than any other man does, even more than your father or your brother. This is how you can be elevated to the next level. This is the reason why young girls wish to get married, even forsaking their father and brother.
Likewise, when a young man meets a girl, he should feel, "Oh, my loving sister!" He should think, "Oh, she is like my loving elder sister, and she is the extension of my loving mother!" A woman should regard her husband as her bridge to the world. Through him, she should be able to love men of every race and nationality.
In the vertical God-centered world, marriage is the training ground for limitlessly extending the road of man and woman's love. In the world where all are related, people learn to love all people, young and old, men and women, through raising their own children. Would not such a world be close to the ideal world?
From the viewpoint of the principle of complementary relationships, when a man and a woman meet, who is the subject? Is the woman the subject of the mind, and the man the subject of the body? Are they both subjects? Is the man the subject, or is the woman? When it comes to affection, women are much more affectionate than men. In this respect, the woman is the subject. However, no matter how affectionate a woman is by nature, she does not become truly affectionate until she meets a man and serves him. Right? A woman is the field of affection, and a man is the seed of affection. The field must be there for the seed to be sown. The seed is not there before the field. When we view the matter from the seed, the field is the object.
Today in this fallen world, love has become the most dangerous thing. Because of the fall, if people do not properly care for love, the whole world breaks apart and turns inside out. People have not understood why love became something false and filthy. Nevertheless, human beings try to guard and protect love out of their original instinct, which longs for true love to appear.
For human beings, love is eternal. Love is one, not two. Once a man and a woman unite in love, they are meant to share happily married years together for a long time on the earth and live together eternally after their death. Although there are two bodies, they unite by rotating as one. When the two bodies unite, they are to rotate with God, forming the Four Position Foundation of love. This is the ideal world of love. False love cannot invade; only true love dwells there.
When a man and a woman receive the Blessing and attain perfection centering on God, God will always come to them. In a Four Position Foundation of love, you can come to love the heart of your spouse through the body of your spouse, or if you love the heart of your spouse first, your body will follow.
The Unification Church understands the providence Of love, which had been hidden for six thousand years. It has been expanding the foothold of the Blessing in order to fulfill the ideal of creation centering on God's love. Through the Blessing, it is establishing the holy of holies. This is the place where new life begins.
What do you think is the center where all physical cells and spiritual elements unite one hundred percent? It is human sexuality. After passing through the period of adolescence and maturing in both body and spirit, human beings seek out the way Of love) where their body and spirit resonate in complete concord and become perfect.
What is the color of love? Is it black at night, white during the daytime, and yellow in the evening? Does love have its own color? In the color at the center of love there is a power, which can bring peace and unity and which can achieve true human equality. Therefore, if people enter the holy of holies as they please, they will bum to death in its fire.
Don't you think that the Unification Church's idea of love is wonderful? The color of love in today's American society is, in a word, disgusting, the color of death. Instead of establishing a world according to the eternal ideal of creation, Americans are drowning in the abyss. Men and women should keep their holy of holies pure until the time of their Blessing. Then, once they love someone, they should keep that love continually. However, Americans are like gangsters and bitches, violating the most holy place of love. The only Americans who do not welcome the Blessing are invalids who have been blinded by love and cannot see what is in front of them. They are the destroyers, not the leading builders of their nation. If American society continues to go this way, it will not have hope for tomorrow, but will be filled with despair. Truly, America will be destroyed not by God's judgment, but by people who have destroyed themselves and lost their humanity.
Where is God's holy of holies? It is where love was to have dwelt had there been no fall, in the sexual union of man and woman. This was to be the most holy place of heaven.
What is love? Love is the holy of holies, the dwelling-place of God. With this love we must cleanse the fallen world. I have already clarified the meaning of the fall. Human beings who were supposed to pass through the period of adolescence without any problem, failed to do so and went off the track. Eve, the ancestor of the human race, fell first by having a spiritual immoral liaison with the archangel. She then fell physically by having a relationship with Adam. Consequently, their sinful lineage has been passed down to their posterity, all humankind.
Know that God can never dwell in a place where the trace of Satan remains. That is why to receive God's love, human beings have to die and be born again. Even in human society, when a woman gets married for the second time, her husband would not like her if she has not yet forgotten her former husband.
Therefore, God has been carrying out the providence of salvation, having human beings cleanse their sin by the process of restoration through indemnity.
6) Man: Integrity; Woman: Chastity
From now on, you must conceive your idea of heaven centering on the family. You must think deeply about your family. You have to become the prince of your family. You have to become the prince of all the subjects in history. To do this, you as a man must keep your chastity.
Until now, society has emphasized the chastity of women. Right? Who lost their chastity in the Garden of Eden? Was it the woman or the man? [Ans. It was the woman.] Did you say the woman? The man also lost it. Adam, who was the center of Eden, also lost his chastity. Because Adam was seduced by Eve, Adam, who was originally the root, was also cut off. It was the woman, Eve, who made the man, Adam, fall. To indemnify this, women have been trampled by men. Isn't that so? Now, in order to liberate women, I am promoting a movement for the equality of men and women and a movement for the liberation of women. We must carry on these movements more for the sake of posterity than for the people today.
What is the bridegroom who stands before the bride? He is a chaste man. He is a world-level chaste man. You have heard of the expression "a chaste woman" before, but have you ever heard the expression, "a chaste man"? Jesus was a chaste man. He was the chaste bridegroom for all humankind who stood in the position of his bride. Jesus was the man among all men, officially recognized by heaven and earth, by history, by his age, by the present and the future. How could people think that they could be Jesus' brides when they cannot even acquire the title of "a chaste man" or "a chaste woman"? It is the style of a robber to ask to be Jesus' bride without becoming at least a chaste man and woman. Imagine if a woman living in a cave of beggars went about shouting that a world famous president like President Kennedy was her husband? Everyone would think she is crazy.
Yet, that is what the Christians are doing. Like beggars, they have been calling out to the prince of God, "Oh, my bridegroom, please come." They are in rags calling to Jesus, "Please come here and live with me." They have done nothing to liberate Jesus from his deep resentment and help him to complete his purpose. If they do not liberate Jesus from his resentment, can they liberate God, who sent Jesus? No, they cannot. They cannot liberate God; they cannot liberate Jesus; hence, they cannot liberate the world created by God.
You women! Don't look around at the many men out there in the world. No man should be able to have his way with the women of the Unification Church. If you are assaulted, you should either kill yourself or stab the attacker in the stomach with a knife. Do you understand?
Your chastity is more precious than your life. You women are to open the historical path for your husband's love, your sons' and daughters' love, the nation's love and the world's love. With truth and sincerity, you should devote all your heart to the serious task of building the foundation upon which woman's beauty, nobility and emotional tradition can shine.
Now, are you allowed to love someone as you wish, or not? When a man calls you on the street, are you supposed to follow him, or not? You are not. Nevertheless, you follow, don't you? [Laughter] You should not have such an inclination. You must guard your body until the right time. You should not give away your pure heart to a goblin. Men who wander aimlessly on the streets are all like goblins. Will you entrust your fate to a man like that? This is not a trivial thing. You can never regain your chastity, so one wrong step can ruin your entire life. Is that not true? It is the same for men. Until now, women were admonished to keep their chastity, but henceforth men must keep their chastity also. This is the way to restore everything. Your behavior should not deviate from the prescribed and correct path, regardless of how evil and rough the world may be.
You should not sully your innocence during adolescence. It is the precious period when you can overcome and indemnify the resentment of Adam and Eve, who lost their innocence during their youth. You should preserve your innocence, precious and clean. You should have the integrity and determination that, "Even if I have to live alone for a thousand years or ten thousand years, I will not allow anyone to trample my love."
The tradition and teaching of the Unification Church is that you cannot meet and love your partner unless you love your people and nation. You cannot obtain and love your partner unless you love the world. You cannot obtain and love your partner unless you love God. Therefore, after you love God, love the world and love the nation, then you can love your wife or husband. This is a fundamental law.
Some married men, when they see a pretty woman, think how nice it would be if she were their wife. Such a person has two minds. We call him a man with the mind of a thief. Satan started from two minds; thus it is right to call such a man with two minds "Satan." He is no different from Satan.
The time has come when men as well as women should keep their chastity. If a man takes a wrong step and loses his chastity, it is as if his entire clan committed a serious offense against God's Will. The time has come when it is no longer acceptable for an elderly man to have a secret affair. A man's philandering will ruin his entire clan. Once you understand the Unification teaching, you cannot do that.
We have now entered the age in which men as well as women should keep their chastity. Men as well as women should keep chaste and create a historical tradition of purity. We participate in the Eucharist, eating Jesus' flesh and blood, in order to embody the tradition of Jesus' pure flesh and blood.
There is a saying, "Man: integrity; woman: chastity." This saying means that one should have integrity for realizing God's purpose and chastity for the fulfillment of love, which is God's will. "Woman: chastity" means that a woman should know only one love. "Man: integrity" means that a man should devote himself to realize just one purpose.
Consider Adam and Eve: their path should have been one of integrity and chastity, but they failed and fell.
For a man to love a woman centered on God, he should maintain his position. He should be able to declare, "I have loved her completely. I have loved her with a love never changing from beginning to end." A woman, for her part, should seal her body well shut. A woman should conceal her essence deep inside, like a peony which is wrapped with many layers of petals. Then she can welcome the coming of spring. She can start her new life in tune with its harmony of heaven and earth. This is how she can love well.
7) Love Is Not About Progress or Revolution
Love is not about revolution, progress, or setbacks. Love cannot be improved, nor can it undergo a revolution. The original model of love itself is perfect, unchangeable, eternal and absolute.
Love has nothing to do with progress or with revolution. Love is eternal and perfect; that is an immutable truth. It is wrong to experiment with love, thinking that it brings progress. In this sense, Americans who exploit love to make money can only perish. God has no reason to bless their future. If America does not self-destruct, I might even explode a love-bomb to make it perish. We should absolutely never use love as a means or as an expedient for making a living.
A husband does not want any revolutionary change or gradual development in his wife; he wants her to remain as she was when they first fell in love. A wife feels the same way towards her husband. All husbands and wives want to preserve the pure love that they had when they first loved each other. They do not want any tint to be added to their pure love; certainly, they do not need any revolutionary change. Truly, husbands and wives want their pure love to remain eternally as it is.
Why does the problem of divorce occur among people who have loved each other? Considering that the people who have divorced or wish to divorce once loved each other desperately, we can conclude that something must have gone awry. There are many reasons to get divorced, but in general, it is because something has changed, something has become different between the two. It is because they could not keep and cultivate their love. Love itself did not change; it is the person's mind that changed.
When a man and a woman become husband and wife, the important thing they need to know is how they can realize unchanging unity. In that unity, singing songs of happiness-that is eternal happiness. Only by possessing something of the unchanging Subject can they attain the true measure of affection.
A woman is happy when she marries her husband because he is a handsome man. Suppose one week later the husband has a car accident and is permanently disabled. Her love would not be true love if she then asked for a divorce. That would be false love.
A study on divorce reported that over sixty percent of divorces were initiated by the woman.
Today, in most advanced countries, white people are the upper class, in the position to lead and move society, and black people are the lower class, in the position of being ruled. However, when it comes to the depth of parents' love for children, there is no difference between white people and black people. Regarding love, there are no rulers and no ruled. This never changes. The loving heart of parents for their children, the loving heart of a wife for her husband, and the loving heart of a husband for his wife-these true loving hearts between true lovers can never change, regardless of how history changes, progresses, or goes through revolutions.
True love is absolute, unchanging and eternal.
8) Love is Something Very Natural
When I was young, I once caught a pair of birds and tried to make them kiss each other. In order to see them kiss each other, I made a cage, placed them in it and fed them. With the heart of a little boy, I wanted to see the birds loving each other and singing joyfully. It was a child's experiment, done out of curiosity about the laws of nature. Thinking back, I did these mischievous things for quite some time. Eventually, I realized that love happens in a natural environment. True love occurs in the most natural and free environment. It took me a long time and many experiments until I clearly understood this about love.
When I was young, I grew up in the countryside where migratory birds visited and different flowers blossomed as seasons changed. Wherever I went in Korea, there were four distinct seasons. As they changed, I could experience in each the beauty of nature. In Seoul today, you can walk around all day long without seeing anything of nature. I feel sad that Seoul has become such a barren city where the only environment is man-made. You should know that people who grow up in an urban environment lack tenderness and sensitivity. Having no opportunity to experience the mysteries and the beauty of nature, they easily become violent or selfish. When human beings interact with nature, they can learn and become aware of many things.
I was able to learn and practice many things from living with nature. I became aware of what true love and happiness are. It was from the natural world that I could learn the most basic things, more than from education in school.
When the season changed and I saw a beautiful bird flying about, I followed the bird and watched to see how it built its nest and how it lived. Sometimes it took me more than a week to find the bird's nest, and sometimes I might wait more than ten days to observe the bird laying its eggs and hatching them. Looking at the cute baby bird, which so resembled its mother, deeply confirmed for me God's mystery and love. That baby bird, so like its mother, could not have resulted from evolution. Would the baby bird hatch if you brooded the egg? A bird was made to be hatched through the warmth of its parents' body and the warmth of its parents' love.
I once brought a baby bird home and raised it devotedly. Although I took the baby bird quietly, the mother bird cried whenever she saw me. She was crying, pleading for her baby's return. In the bird's world also, mother's love is very strong. When an intruder tries to steal a baby bird, the mother bird will try to protect it, even at the cost of her life.
If a person does not value love, what difference does it make if he receives a college education? He would merely gain knowledge, turn individualistic, and become a believer in materialism. Korean bean-paste stew (denjang chige) tastes best when cooked in an earthenware pot. Likewise, a person's efforts at cultivating character only bear fruit when they are based on love.
World civilization should blossom based on an artistic harmony. To have the best taste, charbroiled ribs (kalbi) should be served on a plate, and bean-paste stew should be cooked in an earthenware pot. Once you get used to the earthly smell and taste of bean-paste stew, you will never forget it wherever you go.
Similarly, once you savor the taste of genuine love you will never want anything else. As we quickly tire of instant foods that have been sweetened, so we quickly tire of love that can be obtained easily anywhere. It is like instant food, and cannot be called true love.
Nowadays, people everywhere are practicing love like instant food. This is a problem. One does not deepen love by bathing in scented water. Rather, love is purer, deeper and longer-lasting between a husband and wife living in the countryside who go to bed after taking a cold bath.
If a husband and wife get ready to kiss each other by brushing their teeth, their love is not natural. They cannot taste each other's personal scent due to the smell of the toothpaste. When I look at people who brush their teeth before kissing, I wonder whether they want to taste love or toothpaste. Observing the way of the world these days, we see that calculating, artificial and feigned love is so widespread that it confuses our notions of human happiness. We can truly say that such love is the chief culprit leading this world to destruction.
When you like and love someone of the opposite sex, it is a natural instinct to want to hug and kiss each other. The reason I come in close touch with the environment is to like and love this universe. This is the natural behavior of human beings as they seek a partner.
When all men treat women and all women treat men according to the teaching of reciprocal relationship /ethic of reciprocity / vertical and horizontal relationship, there will be no missteps or acts that violate the order of love. When men and women relate to each other according to this teaching, they will establish the order of true love. However, where people violate the order of love and disregard their environment, they cannot establish the order of true love.