Blessing And Ideal Family (Part 1)
by Rev. Sun Myung Moon
1) Who Determines the Spouse?
From the viewpoint of the Principle of Creation, God and the parents created the spouse. Therefore, in following the law of re-creation, it is essential that God and father and mother, not ourselves, select the spouse. It is our covenant, following heavenly law, to accept that our husband or wife will emerge from there. This is the Unification Church's standard of marriage. Therefore, in the Unification Church, following the Principle, God and then Father are supposed to select your spouse. Your fathers and mothers who live in the fallen world do not know the Principle. They do not know. They do not follow any rules. Do you understand?
But Reverend Moon of the Unification Church knows the standard that can establish the order centering on this Principle, and the covenant which must be followed to fulfill the law of heaven. This is the theory of the ideal of creation, and, following this standard, centering on this ideal, your Blessing will be under God's protection. In this way, Father, as the True Parent and representing your parents, can proceed correctly with your Blessing. This is Unification Church's view of marriage.
There absolutely should not be anyone who arbitrarily chooses a spouse as he or she pleases. The Lord of the Second Advent is the only person who has inherited from God the authority to determine the spouse. Therefore, when the person who has the authority to decide the ideal spouse appears, the more a person is close to his original mind, the more he will be led unconsciously and heartistically to accept that person's choice when he stands in front of him.
When receiving the Blessing, if anyone has a person to whom he wishes to be matched, and thinks in his mind, "I would like to be matched with this one," he is insulting God. That is to repeat the same action as Adam and Eve falling in the Garden of Eden. When Adam and Eve fell at the top of the growth stage, they did not know with certainty that they were to become each other's spouses. They were not sure. Without knowing, they unwittingly brought about that result through Satan's temptation. You must move away from that road.
if this is true, can anyone go to the Blessing knowing his own spouse? Can he go forth having already decided beforehand his own spouse? Heaven is supposed to decide the spouse and the parents are supposed to decide. God, who is Adam's father, is supposed to decide. Seen from this viewpoint, the traditional Korean marriage ceremony corresponds to the law of heaven. In that tradition, you absolutely cannot marry without the consent of the parents. This is absolute.
Therefore, those sons and daughters who have in mind some persons they would like to marry should report right away to their parents. Before saying that they like someone, they should receive the parents' approval. When the parents approve, it is all right to make friends with that person. It is not a sin to become friendly with someone after reporting about it. But unreported relationships cannot be recognized.
The people of the world say that in the Unification Church even marriage is done by dictatorship. But so what if it is dictatorship? There cannot be two heavens. If there is only one country and not two, is that a totalitarian nation? No one besides you people can stand here.
Despite the variety of today's philosophies, the origin is only one. The shape of the society is determined by whether the guiding thought is religious or materialistic. When each claims absoluteness, that is dictatorship, because neither society can accommodate the thought of the other. But, in fact, their origin is only one. In the Unification Church's view of history in Unification Thought, the two ideologies began from one, and are destined to unite and become one.
This is true even as a consequence of the content of the dual characteristics in the Principle of Creation. So why is it dictator, ship when two persons become one and are happy? This marriage is not being done for the benefit of the Unification Church's Reverend Moon. It is being done for the benefit of each other. It is absolutely not being done for the benefit of myself but for the benefit of those whom I face and join in marriage. It is being done for the benefit of all people. How, then, is it dictatorship?
If a child is born as a Korean, when feeding, you must give him or her Korean food. You would not wish to feed the child all kinds of food from different countries of the West. Since it was born as a Korean, it is natural to provide Korean food. This is certain. Until he is grown up he must eat Korean food. You who are being raised in the realm of the Principle must eat Principle food. Therefore, don't ever hold the idea that this is dictatorship. You should not have that thinking. If you have that idea, Father feels most insulted.
I have a headache over those who gossip behind my back. Those who are matched with that attitude are finished. They are going against the heavenly law. Only heaven can decide a person's spouse. Therefore, there should not be any people with that attitude.
In this matching event, which happens only once in a lifetime, what kind of relationship should each person make with God? This is the important question. This issue is between you and heaven. If you are a man, it is an issue between man and heaven, and if you are a woman, it is an issue between woman and heaven. Moreover, in the Unification Church, it is an issue of how to make relationship with Father. Between Father and a man, it is an issue between that one man and Father. Also in the case of a woman, the relationship between Father and the woman is a serious matter of personal concern.
Without solving that problem, you will not be able to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Why? Because the fall was caused by Adam and Eve's deciding matters by themselves. That was the cause of what became everlasting sorrow and regret. If that was the basis of the fall, then in order to indemnify this, you must solve the problem of your relationship with Father. But until now the solution has not come about.
That is why we are giving our pledge in this place. Standing obedient to the will of God, a question and answer process occurs. After the question and answer ceremony and the Blessing, you must work hard. But some people gather around and chat, gossip and whisper, saying things about this and that. People who whisper like that are pitiful. At this occasion there absolutely should not be any whispering. Those women sitting there, sitting at the far end of the room, don't gossip in vain about others, saying this person is like this and that person is like that. I despise that the most. If there is a family who does that and steps beyond the general principles of conduct, that family will come to a bad end. God will not help such a person, for he or she is in the position of an archangel.
The place of Blessing is the most precious place. The time of Blessing comes about only once in a lifetime and its results last through eternity. In that most precious place, you must decide to go over this barrier with the most precious person by absolutely following the True Parents. Then heaven will come down in this place. In this way you must become the most valuable, substantial being who was molded by heaven and stands before heaven. To decide the most noble substance by oneself is to go against the Principle. You must know that because this was not done well, the sorrow of heaven has persisted even until now. For us, who are in the position to go forward by indemnifying this, how we come to find this precious position is the most serious issue. Until now, the blessed couples have been vague about this concept.
What will happen in the future when there will be Blessings for the whole world? The right to give the Blessing will be passed to you. When the father transfers what he owns to his son, it is comparable to the rightful heir supervising all the yield of the harvest. No matter how young or youthful the heir is, he is the one who will supervise and control. Likewise, when the inheritance is passed on, it does not matter who is better or worse. When Father hands down this authority in the future, even if that heir is crippled, people must receive the Blessing from that person. That time will come. You must realize this, and you must know that this place of Blessing is the place where the most valuable relationship is decided and is a place which comes about only once in your lifetime.
Is the reason that young people from all around the world entrust Father with choosing their marriage partners because of their faith, or respect, or trust? Which is it?
2) Do Not Decide Your Partner by Yourself
You must not choose your partner on your own. Especially do not try to discover who he or she is by prayer. A person who does that will come to no good end. Once Father blessed two persons who had decided through prayer, and he established an indemnity condition for them. But things did not turn out well. I cannot tell you who they are; only Father knows. Their fate was according to the Principle. Even if Father forgives them and they go on to fulfill their indemnity condition by themselves, it will not be good for them in the end. Inevitably, within three generations of their descendants, similar phenomena will occur. Indeed, the Unification Church is a fearful place.
When you face Father and look at him, you might think he isn't much, but he is a fearsome person. Those who have given Father a hard time all were destroyed. That is why when I work for the sake of God's will, I myself am very serious. I do not decide something in an irresponsible way. Before making a decision, I consult Heaven and set every standard according to the Principle, and then I announce the policy. When I know that something is heaven's will, I do not care what the world thinks about it..
Once, when Father was just about to match one sister, another person who was standing right beside Father said to her, "That person is like this and like that." Father said, "Then who is the person you recommend?" And he introduced a person whom he preferred to the sister. The person he recommended was a person for whom he had a liking in his mind, and he had the desire to offer a very good husband for this sister for whom he cared. Is this not understandable? Those who are mothers here, when you look at your daughters and their prospective sons-in-law, you whisper to each other about having a son-in-law that you like. In that incident, the woman listened to that bystander's advice and married the person he had recommended, rejecting Father's words. But the result of that marriage was not good.
Father once gave the Blessing to about ten couples who really liked each other and wanted to marry each other. Of those, 80% ended in failure. I will never do that again. Perhaps in the future, I will give numbers to everyone and will match by numbers. At that time you have only two choices: you can get blessed, or you can refuse. I will have to match by numbers in order to marry tens of thousands and hundreds of thousands of couples. At that time Father's antennae will be different antennae. At that moment Father will not be of this world. Father will use emergency tactics. Father will use emergency tactics that he has been using until now to defeat Satan. For that amazing event to happen, a lot of preparation, prayer and devotion will have been poured in. It will take less than ten minutes to decide the partners for 20 couples. But in order to decide the partners, there will be careful and meticulous consideration. It will not be haphazard.
You who are being blessed at this time should follow Father's will. Previously, of those who married based on their own preferences, some of them suffered separation through the death of their spouse. At the matching time, even when Father refused their request, they kept wanting to be married, saying that they liked each other. When Father said, "Is it OK even if you die" they still wanted to be married together. So I blessed them saying, "Go ahead. Do as you will." Sure enough, many of them ended with that fate.
None of you should take a stance centering on yourselves. If there is a compass in you, that compass should always point to God. You are to turn your compass all the way to where it points to God. When you turn the compass to point to yourselves, there will be harmful side effects. How great are those side effects? Those whose compasses are turned to center on the self will, after a while, reach a condition where they might die. If you look at them after about three weeks, their eyes will stick to the insides of their sockets. When you look at this alternative, you must find your partner centering on God.
Those who discuss amongst themselves and come to Father for the approval of their marriage are only trying to use Father as a sacrifice for the acceptance of their marriage. When they say, "We like each other, so please marry us," Father will never bless them. Why? They are acting not only according to the habit of conventional society, but according to the will of Satan. Then centering on whose mind should the matching be done? The issue is whether it is to be done by following your own minds or Reverend Moon's mind.
The viewpoint of marriage in the Unification Church is different from ordinary marriage. The Reverend Moon does not give the Blessing for the sake of the husband or wife, but for the sake of their descendants.
The fact that you are living together by Father's having chosen your partner means that you fit together as closely as possible. If you find that your partner does not fit you exactly, it may mean that one of you might have died without having a long life.
Marriage is not supposed to take place haphazardly. It is not to be done between persons who meet in the street while coming and going. If two people marry just because they feel attracted to one another, some disaster could happen just as they get married. Then we would realize that there was something mysterious about their fate. It was because they did not fit well with each other. A pine tree must be grafted to a pine tree. There are types that fit correctly. When you realize this, you must deal with the Blessing this time with new and better attitudes. Absolutely do not stand in a place where you want to pass through the Blessing in a position that centers on yourselves. You should know that the Blessing is not for yourselves; it is for the nation and even for the world. Moreover, you must take to heart that the Blessing is for the sake of your descendants.
You should not approach the moment when your partner is chosen with a heart of happiness but with a heart of infinite suffering.
From when you start, until the end, you must watch your heart very. carefully. This time is the most important period in your life. It corresponds to the six thousand years of providential history,
In the position of infinite suffering, in the position of extreme sorrow and in the position of risking your life, you must decide. You must take responsibility for your fate in the place of experiencing and tasting the worst suffering, sorrow and death. You should not feel any complaint whatsoever and you should feel with the understanding that this will never happen again.
In order to pass through this gate, how sad was Jesus? How many times did he pass through pain and anguish? Over how many critical moments of death did he go? In order to come to the new road of life, you must receive that degree of agony and suffering in the worst environment. This place is the place that closes the door Of suffering, closes the door of sorrow, and closes the door of death. Therefore, you must go over this after feeling the worst suffering, the worst sorrow and the worst death. Through this, the road of rebirth can be opened, and you will resurrect from worry, from suffering, from sorrow and from death. This is how you are to receive the partner.
You must come to your decision based upon the standard of number three positions. That decision cannot be made for you by Father or by God. The only one who can decide it is yourself.
Originally, man was created for woman, and woman was created for man. But fallen man must go through the position of a servant, an adopted son and a son, before advancing to the position of husband or wife and then to the position of true parents. Therefore, I will make each one of the blessed couples suffer until he or she feels like they want to die. Man is born alone, goes to marry alone, and dies alone. The parent only introduces, and the decision has to be reached by himself or herself alone. Among you there are probably many who will go away without making effort. Those people should reflect on themselves in contemplation.
This period is the time of resurrection. Jesus' partner, namely the Holy Spirit, also descended from heaven on the day of Pentecost after the resurrection of Jesus.
3) How Do You Meet Your Ideal Partner?
Your ideal partner is the person who will be your companion on the road to the ideal world.
Who is your ideal partner? Your ideal partner is a person who receives God's love in great quantity. The one who can stand closer than you to the formula course is your ideal mate.
Then who is that person who can be close to the formula course? It is the person who is close to realizing the hope of every historical period. It is the person who is close to realizing the hope of the past and who is close to becoming the center desired by the present-day society. Moreover, if there is a starting point in the future, it is the person who is close to that starting point. You should value that kind of person.
The fact that the term, "ideal partner," appeared at this moment on the earth and people making a lot of noise is infinitely joyful good news. It is news about which God can be happy.
The foundation to have the ideal spouse is to marry as a couple in a place Satan cannot invade. That is, the ideal spouse is married as a couple by the will of God on the foundation which has indemnified the vertical history horizontally. Therefore, the ideal of marriage has to be centered on God.
If it does not surpass the standard existing at the time before Adam and Eve's fall, a new ideology cannot start. You are not standing in a position where each of you has fought and became a person whom Satan cannot penetrate, but you are in a position where you are believing in and following this ideology. Therefore, your Blessing will come to nothing unless a heartistic foundation and a substantial foundation are laid continuously.
Men say that they want to become handsome in order to find beautiful women. This is because the more perfect one is, the more handsome one becomes. A more perfect person is better able to find a perfect, ideal spouse. Because there is a standard where the best of the ideal subjects and the best of the ideal objects become happy one hundred percent, the more they become perfect in the love of God, and the more they fit perfectly, the more they become ideal. That is why we seek beauty and perfection. Perfect love is the core of the universe. Man without woman and woman without man cannot find that core.
The term "ideal spouse" is very good, is it not? Until now, you have thought that an ideal spouse is like this or like that. No matter how good your partner is, you will not find his or her value unless you have within you the quality to do so. Do you understand what I am saying? Where is your capacity to discover whether or not your spouse is excellent? Without you yourself being the best, you cannot find the very essence of your spouse's excellence.
The ideal spouse comes later. The self has to be thought of first. How to perfect yourself is the most important thing. The ideal spouse means putting the will of the spouse first, but the perfect, ideal family cannot come about unless it first is decided that you can become the perfect subject or the perfect object.
What is the priority for an unmarried man and woman? The problem is whether or not I myself am perfect. Before thinking about your ideal spouse, first you must become a filial son or daughter and have a relationship with the parents who will testify that you are a filial son or daughter. You must become perfect in that sense. After that is accomplished, the ideal spouse can be sought after and loved.
The reason the Unification Church until now does not give the members the Blessing right away, but makes them do fund-raising instead, is in order to make them aspire for the parents' vertical love. The reason we tell you not to worry about fiancés is because once you fulfill the vertical love, the fiancé appears automatically.
What is the fall? It is realizing horizontal love before perfecting vertical love centering on God. Therefore, without establishing the vertical love, you should not think to meet your fiancé or love him.
There must be many people here who have already been matched. Among you, those who can say that you have perfected vertical love, raise your hands. If there is such a person, I will allow that engaged couple to live together and I will bless them in marriage prior to others. Because it is unprincipled for a person who has not fulfilled the vertical love to marry, Father has been waiting.
The person who, in his or her lifetime, loves the world, God and humankind with love greater than the love between man and woman, and only after accomplishing that comes to love his spouse, is an ideal person.
Who is the best companion a human being can have? Jesus, who came down to this earth, tried to find a family where he could realize perfect love. The best companion is the family where true love is practiced. In order to find that, a person has to go through the course of offering in this world. He has to go through the course of offering based on his body. He must reject the love of Satan's world and indemnify the love of the heavenly world. He must, from himself, transcend matter, transcend the desire to be centered on the body, transcend lust, and deny every realistic and sensual element. He must go through such a course.
Who is an ideal partner? It could be a person different from you. You should not resent your partner. Do not think to flee from your partner, but welcome him or her and digest him or her.
What is good fortune? Living well or eating well is not good fortune. Meeting a partner well is good fortune. Paving the way of a husband and wife by following the relationships of heaven and earth and following the law of the natural relationships of human beings is the greatest of blessings. There is no greater blessing. No matter how popular and prestigious he is and how famous his family is, if a person does not meet the right wife, then he will be miserable. No matter how good an academic background or how handsome an appearance he has, he will not be happy if he marries a bad wife. In the same way, no matter how famous or of good standing a woman is, if she gets a bad husband, the result is the same. Therefore what is the greatest of all good fortunes? Meeting your partner well. That is the greatest blessing. By meeting your mate well, you will have good children. Isn't that right?
4) It Is Inevitable That Your Partner Is Somewhere
When Adam appeared as God's ideal creation, did he compare this person or that person whom he might pick? Adam could not do that, because God made Eve for him. Whether Eve was beautiful or ugly, he was to love her absolutely. No matter how big or small, she was the sole, unique being for Adam. Therefore it is the Principle that they love each other absolutely. When they feel the taste of love, those details are no problem.
True love fills and over-fills what is imperfect. You might think that Adam was handsome and Eve was beautiful, but you cannot know that. Whether a man is handsome or ugly cannot be a real problem. These days there are women who shun mirrors because they think they are so ugly, but this is totally unnecessary. I have talked about finding the ideal partner for a lifetime. You might think that at the matching time I will consider, "Ah! Is this the one, or is that the one?' But what is ideal is absolutely only one. It is the same as in the Garden of Eden where there was only one man and one woman. Should the person who is supposed to become the True Parent look at this woman and that woman, with his eyes always staring? Lightning does not strike by looking at where it is to strike. When plus and minus become close, it will always strike. At the moment the minus appears, they will become one. You also must become like that, centering on the love of God.
Is there anywhere in the whole world where, if there is only one woman and if ten males are born, they would say that nine of them should die? Do people worry about that? When a girt is born crying, does she look around asking, "Where is my man?" When a man is born, does he straightaway look for a maiden? It's not right. This is because the mate is inevitably somewhere. Is there anybody who thinks that he should not have children because he is worrying about this point? Is there anyone who wants to have birth control because of that? There is no need to worry about that. If there is a man, there is a woman. If there is a female, a male will be born.
All men and women of this world are in the position of the fallen Adam and fallen Eve. Fallen Adam and Eve became the son and daughter of Satan. Therefore, going into this world of Satan, the problem is how to find, win, and establish God's son and daughter. This is fulfilled through the Principle. If there comes to exist a perfect Adam, then the perfect Eve will be restored. If a perfect plus appears, the minus will automatically come into existence. This is the fundamental rule of creation. If a perfect minus appears, a perfect plus likewise will come into existence. Therefore, there is not much difference between the numbers of men and women worldwide. No matter how much it seems that air is moving about in all directions, it is a reaction to achieve a balance of pressure. This is the same principle. If perfect man is born, a perfect woman will be born. In the Bible, this is stated symbolically, when we read that a woman, Eve, was created out of a man, Adam.
In terms of God's providence of restoration, the reason why the fall happened is not because of "U." You must know that the condition of your relationship to the other, the partner, is always the problem. Since we are re-creating, we must deal with the will of God. Therefore, the problem is to make a correct relationship with the object or partner who can become your companion. People of the world desire that their partners be greater than themselves. But this is an impossible way of thinking in the course of the providence of restoration. Expecting my partner to be greater and better than "I" is not right. Because there was the fall, expecting the partner to appear in the fallen world as a person greater than "I" is wrong. If you desire your partner to be a good person, you should manifest that by investing more effort than your partner.
The misconception of fallen men and women, that when one gets married, one should expect that one's partner will be better than oneself, should not be in your thought. A relationship based upon that cannot possibly succeed. If there are such couples, they are all fake. They are not connected and related to God. The partner must always be in a position lower than "U."
Why? It is because there has to be re-creation. It is through the merit of investing myself that my partner is moved and comes to appear as an object with value. God created heaven and earth not just to see them as they are. He created in order to love, with heart as the basis. In the same way the only thing that matters in re-creation is acting with the heart as the guide. Even though Adam and Eve are small, in the world of the heart, they are not seen as small but big.
5) Man and Woman Are Created in Relation to Each Other
Human beings are either man or woman. "I" am an extension of Adam and Eve who are created by God. Do you understand? When we say "human being," substance already exists in there. How many kinds of things are included in "human being"? Such things reside in the earth, in human beings and in God.
Realistically speaking, we people are very handsome. Therefore, if some women say, "What kind of man could look like that?" and laugh, or if some men say about some woman, "Why does that woman have big hips and look like that?" heaven will punish them. No matter how seemingly ugly, that man or woman is the Creator's greatest masterpiece.
Do you like men who wear a mustache or do you not? You ladies, please tell me. [It's better that they have them.] What about you men? [Better to have them.] Then why do you not grow them? There are times when growing a beard is good. Now is a busy time, so it's better not to have them, but when you are playing around naturally, it is more handsome to have a mustache.
When Japanese people make gardens, they trim and polish them; but the Americans like natural gardens. You like natural things. Do you like artificial things? [No, natural things.] Because you like a natural environment, in the future, there may come a time when you will receive hundreds of dollars in salary by growing mustaches. It might be true someday. Pretty soon, you might want to grow mustaches and beards.
Then why do women have no mustaches and beards? God did not feel good when He saw that Adam was growing a beard. Thus, when He was creating Eve, He made her so that she did not have any beard. [Laughter.] Thus, what is the greatest masterpiece in all of God's creation? It is woman. You women, do you feel good about that? These women are masterpieces all right, but for whom are they masterpieces? They are for men. [Laughter.] You might not feel good about that, but it cannot be helped.
Why did God make those masterpieces? He made them in order to receive a rare stimulation. Man and woman are complementary. Women are very soft and tender, and men are rough and tough. Thus, a strong and stout man likes a soft woman. A soft and tender woman likes a strong man. That's how it is. If there still is a woman who likes the kind of man who has skin like woman, she should be dead! And if there is a man who likes a woman who is as rough and awkward as a man, that man should be dead!
When you look at men, mostly they are not soft-looking but tough-looking. A man's hand is as rough as a concrete floor, and would he feel good if another rough hand touches his hand? When a soft woman's hand touches him, what happens? Everything in the universe is created to be in harmony. Even when you look at a motor, the turning armature is hard and solid metal, but the stationary contacts have surfaces made of soft, flat brass. This arrangement does not wear out easily. But if the contacts were made of adamantine steel, the more the motor turned, the more there would be sparks and rapid deterioration. The natural law of heaven and earth has all things in reciprocal relationships. If we consider this, we know that God is a professional.
That is why, more than putting a man's hand over another man's hand, it would be better to put a woman's hand over his. This is the natural law of the universe. That is how the soft and the hard can be one. If they are not, neither is complete. If a man's hand is over another man's hand, he should feel really bad, but if a woman's hand comes and touches him, he should feel good. If that does not happen, it means the law of the universe is not applied. That is why woman's hand should be soft, and man's hand should look thick and heavy. Men should look like man, and women should look like woman. Therefore, man has a mustache and beard. Because that beard stimulates the soft surface, it can feel the stimulation of love. Thus, you can conclude that it is good that man was born as man and woman was born as woman.
6) The Beauty of Woman and the Charm of Man
A while ago, Father said in England that a woman's beauty is not determined just by her face. Some people might say that a woman is beautiful just on the basis of her face, but the face is only a part of the whole body. You must look at the whole. The face is only the third factor in the standard of beauty. In order to judge a person's beauty, you must not only look at the hands, the feet, the way he or she walks, and the voice, but also you must look at the person from the front, from the side, and from all directions.
A person's beauty is not only in the face. The beauty can be felt from all directions. Beauty is spherical, like a ball. Regardless of the direction from which you look, each person has a perfected beauty of his or her own. That is why a person should not judge and evaluate his wife's face rashly, without thinking.
Many beautiful women soon lose their beauty. But women with virtue or good fortune are different. You can often observe that among women with pretty faces, their faces become strange after having two or three children. The woman who can maintain her beauty even after having children is truly a beautiful woman.
Of all the varieties of flowers, which do you think is the most beautiful? Father does not know what kind of flowers you like, but Father likes the one that looks like a trumpet, because it spreads its fragrance far away. (A morning glory.) A trumpet-shaped flower represents deep love. The scent spreads far away. It has to be shaped like a trumpet or bugle in order for the fragrance to travel far. The morning glory and other flowers of a similar shape have the best fragrance. All people like the flower that has a beautiful fragrance. On the other hand, the lily is simple but elegant. The pure and graceful lily blossoms out from an ordinary green pod; until it blossoms one cannot know whether it will be white or orange or yellow. It is a melodramatic and emotional flower. The lily seems to have a history behind it.
In the same way, you ladies should become like a morning glory or a lily. Like the fragrant morning glory, you should have the heart of deep love. Like the lily, you must become a pure and elegant flower.
Father thinks that the most beautiful women of the world are those with black hair, a white face, and blue eyes. She should not have a flat nose or eyes that are too hollow but should have eyes with about medium depth. Some Western people have eyes too deep, and one sometimes cannot distinguish whether they are eyes or eyebrows. These days because they put make-up on their eyebrows, you really cannot distinguish between the two. They color their eyebrows. Therefore, it is ideal that the eyes go in only a little and the eyebrows are apart from the eyes a little, like Father's.
It is more charming for a man's face to be somewhat rough rather than smooth.
When a woman is trying to get a husband, it would be better to have a man who is wild and rough rather than someone who is delicate and fine-looking. Since a husband and wife relationship is a reciprocal relationship, the woman who becomes the opposite of the wild and tough man will become happy. The wife who can receive the love of a tough and wild husband is a happy wife. You should not forget this, and look at your husband, encourage him to be a rough and tough man.
It is the law of love that the strength of a man is only like a gentle, autumn breeze in front of a woman. In the world of men, the strength of fists determines things, but in front of a beloved woman, that fist becomes as soft as cotton. Therefore, a woman should not be afraid of a man who is wild and rough but rather should think that the stronger a man is, the more value he has for her to love.
In a group of young ladies and men, when a handsome man passes by, the ladies close one eye but look with the other eye in this way. And these men, swaggering and strutting like goblins, also glance at a woman who passes by. Let's say that there is a dark-skinned man who looks like a fluke of nature -- unappealing even when you look at him with your eyes half-closed. But on the other hand, if you look at him as a whole, he might be a very masculine person. When he talks, that kind of person does not talk quietly like a woman. He acts before he talks. Most women would not feel good about that. They think that a man should talk first and offer an introduction before he acts, but this kind of man charges forward without any introduction whatsoever.
When they meet that kind of person, at first the women would not feel so good, but if he can persevere even for thousands and tens of thousands of years, the women will change. If the strong and wild character is that way not just for one moment but is like that consistently, the women will think again. "Other men are deceitful; therefore when autumn comes, they fall like the falling leaves, and when winter comes, they wither and dry. But as for this man, even if he might look like a country bumpkin, he, like a piston that is being driven by pressure, pushes what he thinks should be pushed, until the end. He will do it until his death." If this is true, the women's thoughts will become different. Do you understand?
If that happens, she will love her husband like heaven. Even if he is so strong and tough, if his actions can reap crimson love, she will be dragged in. You women must be careful here. Illustrations of this are plentiful in movies and fiction. Isn't that right?
7) Women and Make-up
When trying to find the person who will love them, people embellish themselves and adorn their minds. The reason a woman sits in front of a dressing table day and night, looking at herself in a mirror and making herself up, is because she has the desire to receive much more love from the person who loves her.
The woman who decorates her body in order to keep an eternal beauty is trying to defy death. It makes us think of a battleground where men face their enemies and fight by risking their lives and shedding blood. We feel sorry for such women, but at the same time we love them for wanting to keep their beauty for eternity.
Unification Church women do not put on make-up or spend hours trying to look nice because they are much too busy trying to spread God's truth. But they probably have the inclination to put on make-up and took nice. Even the person who was satisfied with how she looked before she received her partner will become more concerned about her looks once she gets a spouse. She wants to look good in front of her partner. She thinks about whether her hips are not too big, whether her waist is too thick, whether she is too short, or whether she is too ugly. That thinking and behavior comes from her intention to spread the fragrance of love by blossoming as a beautiful flower. She moves with a rhythm and posture and invests herself to look charming. In the same way you should meet your partners by widening the diverse aspects of your past lives centering on God's will.
Women want to change every day into new and beautiful clothing, right! Then have you ever thought about how you should have a beauty in your face that is better than changing dresses every day? What do you want to do by wearing beautiful dresses? You probably want to go looking for the one you love. How unbecoming it would be for a person to look for her lover by dressing up gorgeously but with a scowling face. At that time, the dress will judge the person. You must know that no matter how beautifully a woman dresses, if she looks depressed and without love, the clothes she is wearing will lament. But even if the clothing is not luxurious, it will be content if the person wearing it has a serene and happy face. At that time, that clothing she is wearing will shine like the jewels that decorate the center of love.
For example, the beauty of the diamond is enhanced by the gold ring in which it rests. Have you ever seen anyone wearing a ring made only of pure diamond? And from the standpoint of the gold ring, it will be more beautiful by virtue of having a little diamond set on top of it instead of being just a plain gold ring.
Is it for your own sakes that you wear beautiful clothes and put on make-up? Or is it for the sake of your spouses? Why does a flowering tree have fragrance and blossoms? Is that tree flowering because it likes the blossoms and fragrance or is it blooming for someone or something else? Like a person, a flower cannot look at itself. Therefore, we can surmise that the fact that a beautiful flower blossoms and spreads its fragrance is not for itself but is for someone or something which can enjoy that flower and its fragrance. The flower and its fragrance are there to attract butterflies and bees. The tree's fragrance is there to teach the bees the right direction to come to it, and the flower's blooming guides them to distinguish it from others. Women wear beautiful clothes and put on make-up for the same reason that the tree blossoms.
When women wake up in the morning, they put on make-up as they look at the mirror, but they do unnecessary make-up. For whose enjoyment do they apply make-up? Is it for the sake of their husbands or is it for their own sakes? Originally, make-up is real make-up when it is done at a cremation ground. [Laughter.] The word "make-up," ("Hwqiang," which in Korean means both makeup and cremation) itself does not feel good. When you understand this, you should do make-up in a serious way. For whom are you doing it? When I was coming to Seoul by train, I saw that the bathrooms become busy about 30 minutes before arriving at the Seoul train station. Most of the people using the restrooms are women with skirts. Men are dignified. Thus it says that in the Last Days women will be busier than men.
Having a good outward appearance is advertising with a billboard in Satan's world. If a person goes into a store that does many advertisements, he will be overcharged and ripped off. You must know this. That which is real and genuine does not advertise. This time when you come to the Blessing, do not pay attention to any woman who is wearing new clothes, applying rouge and cosmetics all over her face, and raging with excitement. That kind of person will bring enormous problems and even disaster. On the other hand, there is something mysterious in a woman who looks as if peeling off one layer of her character will bring another layer up as you give and take with her.
These days, you ladies put powder and other cosmetics on your faces. Why do you put on make-up? Is it because you want to boast of being the daughters of Satan? [Laughter.] This is not a laughing matter.
When you go into God's camp, you may put on make-up. When you go to Satan's side, you should cover your face with ashes. When you go out, you should think, "I have God's Hyung Sang and His love; thus I am better than you people who are all made up but do not know God."
Even in the Unification Church, God likes those who clean up for the whole and do laundry for the center, better than He likes those who put on make-up for themselves. The person who lives for himself will go somewhere else. No matter how much the person tries to stay, he will eventually leave.
Even at the times when you are wearing nice clothes, make-up, and smelling of beautiful fragrances, you should think of the day of liberation.
Blessed women can put on make-up, but unmarried ones cannot.
These days even we Unification Church members are using make-up! I forgive that. Mother is using make-up, she is married.. . . But those maidens who use make-up, for whom are you doing it? If you have money to buy cosmetics, give it to me! By using makeup they want to go around with some guys and think of capricious things. A maiden has to be innocent. She also has to be unaffected. What are manicures for? The married women can do it. Why is that? It is because she has to compete. In front of her husband, his wife has to be better than others' wives. In addition, a daughter-in-law has to be better than other daughters-in-law. A father-in-law and mother-in-law want their daughter-in-law to be the best. Therefore, in order not to lose out, she has to put on make-up. Before that, no make-up should be used. Before that, a girl only has to receive her parents' love.
Father knows that the toil of those who have walked the way of God's will together with Father is great. I know that the merits of the Unification Church members who have suffered for the fulfillment of God's will by leaving behind the comfortable life, and especially of those women who have toiled for years without wearing make-up, are great. I feel as if I should invent a line that stops aging and hand it out to them, even though I know that they will finish their lives in the physical world and live with God in a dominion of love.
8) Love Affairs are Absolutely Not Allowed
If a person comes to have deep faith and has spiritual experiences, that person will not act recklessly or without thinking. To love another for his or her own pleasures is the illicit love of the satanic world.
If there is a person who has acted this way until now, that person has to repent from the moment he or she hears Father's speech. Adam and Eve looked away from God and loved each other, thus bringing about a most tragic result. If you do anything like marrying amongst each other, you will not become a new ancestor but instead will bring about disastrous results. Therefore, in the Unification Church, freely having love affairs is absolutely not allowed. You must entrust everything to God.
Through the Blessing, you will form close relations of love centering on God. But if there is a person who says, "I am that kind of person," but presents himself outwardly only himself, heaven will never support him. In the Unification Church there cannot be any love affairs. They will not be recognized by heaven. Those who had each other in mind will never be blessed to each other.
Do you want to be blessed or not? Do you want to marry inside the Unification Church, or would you rather marry anybody you like? Do you feel bad about mass weddings? Do you want to have marriage as Father chooses? Answer me. Would you rather marry as you like, or go to the person whom Father chooses? If you want to do that, you cannot love as you like. You cannot give the gaze of love as you like. You must know this clearly. Therefore, guys should not grab young girls' hands as they would like to. The day you take hold of a young girl's hand, you are not a virgin any more. Do you understand? These are not my words. This is the word of the Principle. It is the word of the Principle of Restoration.
When a woman is walking on a road and meets a handsome man, she thinks she wants to see him again. This is the nature of the fall. If you are sons and daughters of God, you should not show even the slightest interest in anyone except the spouse that God selected for you. Looking at someone directly itself is not a sin. But when you look with interest, the powerful force of the fall can take effect and can lead to an unexpected accident. That is why when you are walking on a road and come face to face with a handsome man or a beautiful woman, you should not look with interest.
I have this worry and anxiety for your sake. God also said, "Do not eat," out of love for Adam and Eve.
The fall of the human ancestors, Adam and Eve, was because of woman, right? That is why a woman is closer to being in that kind of situation. She has the tendency to be overcome by the temptation of a man. Women are interested in any kinds of words, and if they are sweet words, they can be drawn in.
The four weapons of Satan are cigarettes (gas), alcohol (liquid), drugs (solid), and illicit love.
Father tells unmarried men and women not to shake hands if possible because the electricity of love flows through holding hands. The spark of love cuts a wound in the mind of the other person. The wound made by love cannot be healed with any medicine in this world.
In the Unification Church, we tell young boys and girls to not even shake hands. We must know that Satan is always spying on us and that this is the way Satan takes revenge.
Until the Blessing, the Unification Church members who are unmarried should not shake hands with each other. If we think of love in terms of electricity, if it is 100 volts, all 100 volts should fuse properly instead of becoming dimmed by something that short-circuits the electricity on its way.
You are unmarried bachelors. When you get married, do you want to get married to a widow or to a maiden? Please answer. Do you want to marry a maiden or a widow? The person who can be invested with life is pure. To offer yourself as a pure being to God requires an absolute standard. That is why in the Unification Church we say that we should never have love affairs. Unification Church men and women: what has a love affair to do with us?
Life starts from a pure being. When a human being is born, he or she is born as an unspoiled being. When it comes out of its mother's womb, it is born innocent, not with some kind of blemish. Isn't that right? Therefore, a person's body is born pure, and his mind is also born with innocence. Even the heart of a young man, who can smell the fragrance of spring in his puberty, is born pure. Body and mind all are born innocent and spotless. But if a person has self-centered and licentious thinking, can that person be pure? Are you saying that you want to offer that kind of person to God? Being born with a pure mind and body, can you spend it on someone impure? According to the law of indemnity, you cannot do that.
As a youth who is close to 20, where would you put your holy, pure heart that is not defiled or tainted, having kept it safely and carefully? It should be placed on the altar with which God can be most happy. By this God will become happy. And the sacred ground where a man and a woman with such pure hearts can meet and be bound together is the place where a bride and a bridegroom meet.
You American parents think it strange and worry if your child does not have a person to date when he or she is 18. On the other hand, in Korea, the unmarried men and women of respectable families cannot even touch each other's hands before they are married, even if they are over 30. They cannot even wink at each other.
Comparing their outlook on love, in the West there is free sex as well as all kinds of strange people involved in sex, but in the East, it is not like that. In the Principle viewpoint also, unmarried men and women have to be pure before marriage.
Can the Unification Church women have affairs or not? [No.] Can the Unification Church men have affairs or not? [No.] Does Father force them not to have affairs? [No.] They can do it if they want to. But it is inevitable that they don't. Thus, the Principle is effective. But if love affairs were prohibited by force, people would do it all the more. They would fall by themselves on their own accord.
In the Unification Church you cannot have love affairs. You absolutely cannot. Love has to begin in heaven and end in heaven.